“Twenty-somethings are worried”

“Twenty-somethings are worried. They’re anxious. They’re worried about whether life is going to work out for them. Whether it’s going to work out as well as they thought it would” – Meg Jay

I heard this on my way to church this Sunday morning on NPR. It was an interview with author/clinical psychologist, Meg Jay, about her book, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter — And How to Make the Most of Them Now. You can read the rest of the article here.

The quote made me stop and think. I AM WORRIED!!!

I am worried that we aren’t saving enough for retirement. Especially when someone gets out that scary calculator that shows you how much a 21-year-old could save by the time they’re 60, and how much I’ve lost in just 4 short years.

I am worried that I don’t really quite know what I want to do with my life. I got my degree in psychology and I want to go back to school some day, but that’s a 5-7 commitment to go into research, not to mention a lot of money that will hurt the savings I don’t have. (See the point above to freak out again about finances). But I also love what I’m doing in the non-profit industry and have recently thought about a master’s in Non-Profit Management. And if I go back to school, when am I having kids?

Don’t get me started on how I am worried about when I need to have kids! Yes, I am only 25, but Carl is 31, I want three kids, with 2 years apart, so you start doing some math. Genetics aren’t in my favor, adoption can take 2-3 years for one child… But how do you know when you’re ready? And how do I know that I won’t end up with a crazy rebellious teenager just like me?

Should I go back to school, should I work to save, should I just have kids now? Should we never have kids and travel the world?

Of COURSE I am WORRIED! But the wonderful news is, after each spiral panic, I take a breath, say a prayer, and ask God to lead me. That’s it. If Carl and I had a baby now, we would be fine and ecstatic. If I never go back to school, it will be because I am doing something better, not because I missed my window. If we don’t end up with millions in savings that’s because we lived life and gave it away. I also know there will be hard days, and panic days ahead, but I know that I’m following a perfect plan.


One response

  1. TIME OUT!

    Here is the problem. You’re whole life you’ve been told to follow rules and meet other people’s…. society’s expectations. That’s fine when you’re a kid because it keeps you safe and allows you to meet criteria that can get you to adulthood successfully. Following other people’s expectations is not what will lead you to fulfillment. Take a look around you! Our country is fat and depressed, in debt, in bad relationships, and hate their careers. Something needs to change! Agree or disagree! You must learn to think and make decisions for yourself and only yourself… for now.

    Take some time and figure out what you are passionate about, what excites you, and what you value. I’m not talking about impulsive quick excitement… I’m talking about genuine exited about the world shit! Figure it out and let that dictate your choices as you maneuver through this world.

    It is critical you figure this out while you can, before you get yourself in situations and make commitments that will limit your ability to make changes in the future. Do it now!


    Good luck!

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